Couples Counseling
All Couples Struggle
It feels as if your marriage is on the brink of divorce – the pain from the affairs, or the struggle with infertility, or the frustration from co-dependency. Everything feels as if it’s coming to a head.
You may be a parent who needs to learn how to co-parent since the separation, or you now live in chaos after all that’s changed.
It may be as simple as you and your partner still love each other but are no longer in love. What then?
All couples have the same or similar issues; this includes same-sex couples, heterosexuals, and everything in between.
“Normal”
Over the last 20 years, the traditional man, wife, and children are no longer the “normal.”
Unfortunately, what HAS become normal is people believing their partner is a narcissist. My response to that is to STOP and trust the process of therapy.
I am here to help you, but if you or your partner (a possible narcissist) don’t want to be here, I will always have the door unlocked for either of you to walk out.
In order to help you fix something that is broken, you need to be willing and committed to participation.
How Couples Therapy Works
If we can get past putting out fires (constant arguments), we can start the transformation and rebuild the foundation of your relationship.
I work with couples using the Gottman Method and typically meet both of you together for the first three sessions.
This is what I call the “sweet spot” because it gives me a chance to observe how you communicate while we get to know each other.
See Change
During this time, you are both completing homework assignments and bringing them to therapy.
If you stick to the plan, you both will see small changes by week two or three.
Yes, we will hit a few bumps in the road, but as long as we keep an open mind, remain teachable, and avoid blame, we’ll be able to rebuild your relationship.
Working Together
Once we reach the third or fourth session and agree that we are all a good fit for each other, I will start to meet with both of you individually.
This helps me understand each person’s perspective and willingness to change. It also allows me insight that one of you may not share when it’s the three of us.
I make it clear that I don’t keep secrets, but I will give you the tools to share an issue with your partner that will help.
Affairs
If there has been infidelity, it’s going to be difficult, but we have to talk about it. This issue is that people try talking without guidance; they jump right into deep waters without establishing trust.
It takes time to get over affairs. Allow me to guide the questions and answers so that you can re-establish a trusting friendship. This will help you to communicate better when you and your partner are outside my office.
On the other hand, you both might have decided to end the relationship. In those instances, we work on healthy boundaries, especially if kids are involved.
Transformation
I will help you get through the HEAVY parts of therapy so that by the time you and your partner are finished, you’ll be able to love, like, and respect each other again.
Rebuild trust with your partner and cultivate patience, sensitivity, and honesty with one another.
Learn how to set healthy boundaries in your relationship, keep one another accountable, and communicate respectfully, especially when it is a deep conversation.
Contact me today and start on a path toward change, clarity, and transformation.